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Heaven In Search Of Lawyers

By tiitucker on Monday 13th of April


There was a young couple who were very much in love and due to be married. The night before the wedding though, both were tragically killed in a car crash.

They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a few weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter to one side and said, “My fiancee and I are very happy to be in heaven, but we really regret we didn’t get the opportunity to have our wedding vows celebrated. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?”

St. Peter looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. You’ll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment in two weeks.”

Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeated the request to be married. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, “I tell you what; wait a year and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again.”

A year duly went by and the couple, still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again, the Lord God Almighty said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you but you must wait another year, and then I will consider your request.”

This happened year after year, for ten years. Each time they reasserted their desire to be married and each time God put them off for another year. In the tenth year, they came before they Lord God Almighty to ask again. This time the Lord answered, “Yes, you may marry! This Saturday at 2:00 p.m. We will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!”

The wedding went off without a hitch. The bride looked beautiful. The Buddha did the flower arrangements for which Moses wove simple yet elegant baskets. Jesus prepared the fish course. All of heaven’s denizens attended, and a good time was had by all.

Tragically, but perhaps inevitably, within a few months, the newly weds realized that they had made a horrible mistake and they simply couldn’t stay married to one another. So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty. Grovelling and frightened, they asked if they could get a divorce.

The Lord heard their request, looked at them, and said, “Look, it took us TEN YEARS to find a priest up here in heaven. Do you have any idea how long it’ll take us to find a lawyer?”

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